I Needed This Today

Another curious human behaviour: Just by chance, I posted every day for over a week last May rather than my typical range of anywhere from one to twelve posts in a month. Then I wondered how long I could keep it going. And now I'm at a point that I make an effort not to miss a day, for no other reason that to see if I can. More frequent posting has had almost zero effect on the number of readers and commenters, but there is so much going on that it's pretty easy to have something to say every day. I have about 20 tabs open to articles or threads that I want to think about more. I often write before I get out of bed in the morning to get all the online detritus off my chest before starting my day, then spend a bit of time looking for some useful or entertaining images to add while I drink my tea. Image curating sometimes takes longer than writing, taking me down so many rabbit holes!

I got a late start today, so here's a nice thread amid the horror show of the news and social media. It's from biorisk consultant Conor Browne:

"I think almost everyone who is still taking active steps to avoid being infected or re-infected with SARS-CoV-2 is tired at this point; I know I am. Having said that, late last night it occurred to me, with considerable clarity, that every single person I have had the pleasure of meeting through this platform [Twitter], every single person still trying to avoid Covid, form, as a group, the most compassionate and resilient set of people I have ever met in my life. These shared qualities are not a coincidence. 

The great conceptual mistake that the individuals and organisations who attack our stance (ranging from individual written or verbal abuse, all the way to the enactment of structural policies at national levels designed to make avoiding infection more difficult) is this: we don't take precautions to avoid infection just to protect ourselves, but also to protect everyone else. 

The science is very clear at this point: It is unquestionably a wise decision to avoid infection. It speaks volumes about the world in which we now live that something so obvious has to be stated. 

I will end with this: all of you are doing the right thing, from the standpoints of health, ethics, and, quite frankly, common sense. You are all outstanding human beings, and, I assure you, you will not regret your ongoing decisions."

Bless you all for continuing to protect others and yourselves, leading the charge with caring and compassion. 

Dating for Dogs

Lots of people discredit the Myers-Briggs as just a horoscope, but it's significantly different and can be useful in recognizing that we're all innately different kinds of people. This awareness can help us get along in this world and maybe even find love, or at least a better roommate.

Our Tendency to Notice Differences by Type

Dividing people into types based on intrinsic tendencies has been around for millennia, born of scrutinized observations of human nature. Ayurvedic Doshas were recorded about 3,000 years ago identifying people who are Vata (energetic but scattered), Pitta (systematic and ambitious, but dogmatic), or Kapha (methodical but slow moving). The four humours came around 500 years later with

Alcmaeon of Croton to differentiate those who tend to be sanguine (enthusiastic, active, social), phlegmatic (reserved, intellectual, solitary), choleric (ambitious, decisive, short-tempered), or melancholic (depressive, cold, dry). If you think of those categories long enough, you can easily find yourself playing a game of slotting your friends and family under each term.

Then Jung wrote Psychological Types in 1921, outlining opposing traits along three continuums: extraverted/introverted, sensing/intuitive, and thinking/feeling. (That last one might be better updated to task-oriented/people-oriented.) Although it produces only nine specific types, the continuum set-up provides infinite possibilities within each set of letters. It's similar to being mainly melancholic with a touch of sanguine, or having a primary and secondary dosha. Jung explains his stance on innate personality:

Year in Review

I don't normally do a year in review, but his was my most tumultuous year in decades. It's right up there with the year I dropped out of high school and moved in with my sister in Ottawa on a whim, and the year I moved six times mainly by bicycle. This year, I went from 31 years at the same job in the same building, doing more or less the same thing, to .... not that. And my oldest moved out to Guelph, with the middle one likely to follow, which is also a big change.  

Our Duty to Others IS Love

In my class recently, we were asked to get into groups to get a reading down to one key word. The passage was on Confucius, and it was about human-heartedness, taming unruly impulses, filial piety, benevolence, and justice. 

In my little group, I suggested it's all about love. My group disagreed. I pointed out that the word is mentioned several times in the reading because they were quite sure it wasn't mentioned at all. They countered that it's all about duty, order and control. It's trying to control us by making us do things for other people. They said that like it's a bad thing. One kept bring up the idea of that we can only control people by shaming them and making them feel horrible, so it's in essence a horrible theory. I kept rereading the passage to see where they were getting this idea. I thought I must have missed something crucial in the text. Then, when we went around the room to share ideas, I was heartened that many other groups came up with terms like love and virtue and service, so I wasn't losing my mind. The reading was full of love.

It reminded me of two things: First, it's a similar reaction to class discussions on Kant's deontological (duty-based) ethics. Any thought of a duty or obligation to others gets the shackles up on many teenagers who are in survival mode competing with one another for university slots. But, if I come at it from the other end, focusing on what would make for the most benevolent society, or even what would be the best way to solve a conundrum with a group of people you really care about, they tend to come up with the notion of doing for others even if it's not in our best interest. They will start to argue that we can't expect to get our own way all the time, and that we have to look at the bigger picture and do what's right even when it's not what's easy or what most benefits ourselves. If we want to have a good home life or a good society, we have to consider the effects of our actions. And then we can get into the nitty gritty of how to decide that. It sometimes takes a full class of thinking to get them on board with "duty" being useful to keep the peace because first you have to get them outside of their selves, outside of their personal striving against each other. 

Sex Ed Redux

The papers are full of stories about the fight for and against new sex education legislation.  Wynne seems to be holding her ground this time, though, so I'm not sure any of the debating will come to anything.  But it's raised some interesting questions and ideas, and provoked a long talk with my 10-year-old daughter, which I get to below.

The curriculum (and all school curricula) is easy to find on-line.  Curriculum documents are unwieldy though, and it might take a while for the uninitiated to know which bits to look at.  There are many pages that aren't really essential reading for parents, so I've included the important pages for each grade below from the grade 1-8 Health and Physical Education Curriculum, revised 2015:

Grade 1 - Caring and exploitative behaviours and feelings; potential risks; body parts - including the external genitalia (penis, testicles, vulva, vagina); hygienic procedures (92-93)
Grade 2 - Standing up for yourself; medicine use and substance abuse - there's a bit leaning towards healthy living over the use of medication; stages of development (106-110)
Grade 3 - Processed vs unprocessed foods; broadening the range of eating choices; safety guidelines; factors you can and cannot control; real and fictional violence; more on substance abuse, healthy decision-making, and misusing medications; healthy relationships; respecting differences - this is the bit about the variety of families out there now (120-124)
Grade 4 - Healthy eating and nutrients; food safety; safe use of technology; bullying - particularly on-line issues; assessing risk; smoking; changes during puberty (139-144)
Grade 5 - Nutrition; media influence on eating; threats to personal safety; effects of alcohol use and abuse - including alcohol poisoning; the reproductive system including menstruation; interpersonal stresses (155-160)
Grade 6 - Nutrition; positive social interactions; community resources; conflict management; anger management; illicit drugs; decision-making in relationships - including wet dreams and masturbating; risk assessment - including dental emergencies, caring for pets, and hypothermia; stereotypes and assumptions including homophobia, racism, bigotry (171-177)
Grade 7 - Healthy eating; technology dangers including online privacy, bullying, harassment, body image, substance abuse, delaying sexual activity and how to say no (what consent looks like), sexual acts (vaginal, oral, and anal sex are explicitly in there), STIs and pregnancy, sexual health, relationship changes  - I think this is the scare the crap out of them year.  (194-201)
Grade 8 - Healthy eating; addiction; sexual decisions including reasons to wait; reducing risks; impact of violence; mental health; stress management; gender identity; sexual orientation; contraception; consent; intimacy; dating violence (214-220)

I was a really innocent kid.  I didn't think other kids were even kissing in grade 7, but then one of the kids in my class actually got pregnant - for real.  I didn't kiss anyone until well into grade 11.  But I don't think kids today are significantly worse in this respect.  From surveys we do in social science classes, I'd guess that most kids are still pretty innocent in grade 9.  There are a few doing a lot in earlier grades, but I get the sense that's uncommon.  If they're misleading on the surveys, I'd expect them to say they're doing more than they are, and I only get a couple doing anything harder than pot in grade 12.  Despite the norms generated by movies - particularly the kind we watched in the 80s - many kids in grade 12 don't drink OR have sex.  At all.    

The curriculum is, as always, jam-packed, and I'm a little unsure that everything can be covered thoroughly.  But it's clear to me the focus is on personal safety - how to stay alive and in one piece, physically and emotionally, as you grow up.

One concern I have is how the line "...including First Nation, Metis, and Inuit food choices, cultural habits and teachings, relationships..." is unceremoniously plunked down throughout the teaching strands. It feels uncomfortably like tokenism.  I appreciate the idea that we have to be more inclusionary, but this doesn't quite feel like the right way to go about it.  And I question to what extent these teachings really will be incorporated into every section of the health curriculum at every grade when many of the teachers haven't learned any of this material in university or come across it in life. Unless the ministry is willing to provide teachers with more than just "mention that medicine wheel stuff," then teachers might do a cursory job or worse.


Here's what my 10-year-old had to say; she told me I could write about it here.  What she thinks should be taught is pretty close to the above.  Mainly.  She wasn't sure 6-year-olds need to know about the names of their body parts, but I asked what if someone touches them there, and they need to be able to use the right word to tell somebody.  She's pretty convinced nobody would do that to a little kid, and then I felt it necessary to ruin that illusion for her.

She thinks being gay or lesbian should be discussed earlier - in grade 3 - because "it helps people understand who they are and will be so they know they're okay".

Most importantly, in about grade 4, they should tell you everything to NOT worry about:  "wet dreams, period, B.O., crushes on people of either sex... because people start to ask questions and worry about the things they don't understand, so they need a list of things that are normal and okay."

I told her that one concerned parent was worried that there's lots of talk about sex, but nothing mentioned about love.  He's right.  She actually seemed to be more uncomfortable talking about love with me than about sex. "Love is a strong word" was about the most I could get out of her on this one.


My stance is towards adding to it - as if there's time in the day.  I see teens after they've been exposed to prejudices and cruelty - particularly online - so I applaud any and all efforts to nip that in the bud. I want them to know that they're okay.  I've had more than one student hospitalized for alcohol poisoning because they had no idea it was possible to die from drinking a lot at once.  I've seen kids destroyed by the idea that there's only one true love for them out there, so if it ends at 17, then it's over for them forever.  And too many think if they can't get a date, then they can't go to any dances or proms because we're stuck in a coupley mode of thinking.

First of all, back to grade 1, I'd like it if we could all acknowledge that the entire external part of a girl is the vulva, and the entryway to the uterus is called the vagina.  That's just what they're called.  I'm glad the clitoris is mentioned in grade 7, and I hope it gets the attention it deserves.

By grade 8, at least, I'd like to see acceptance of all types of sexuality discussed - those who think it's an act of love to be saved for one person - and we're doing a serious disservice to some if love isn't mentioned at all -, those who think it's a form of recreation (but only with profound respect from involved parties), and those who don't have any interest in engaging for any reason.  Imagine if we could obliterate the terms "prude" and "slut"!

This is a long shot, but what I'd really like is to get rid of words related to LGBTQ and trans and cis.... and just have people who wear a variety of different clothes and make-up and are attracted to a variety of different people and have different levels of comfort with their own bodies that are sometimes helped with surgery.  We're bags of bones mysteriously drawn to other bags of bones of random shapes and sizes.  But that's probably asking too much of society yet - and too much of struggling individuals who get comfort in the support of groups of people who similarly self-identify.  But one day...

I'd also like to see more on body image and how quickly people, young and old, hone in on that one vulnerability in order to destroy one another.  My little girl biked to St. Jacobs with me yesterday, in 30 degree weather, in jeans because she doesn't like her legs.  Heartbreaking, that is.  It's not the shape, but the hairiness.  Despite the fact that I often don't shave, she felt self-conscious because kids at school have already made fun of her for having hair.  So I bought her some razors and taught her how to shave, and now she's wearing shorts.  I would have LIKED to changed the patriarchal world we live in and convinced all the girls in her school that hair is cool wherever it grows, and that shaving pubes can lead to infection (which garners no mentioned in the curriculum), and that Juliette Binoche had hairy pits in The Unbearable Lightness of Being and she was sexy as all get out!!  But that's a job for tomorrow.  For today, she shaved.

We do what we can.  Baby steps.

...ETA - And then there's Norway.

On Addictive Pleasures and the Fear of Death

I recently read Stephen Greenblatt's The Swerve, a book about the hiding and finding of the 1st century poem On the Nature of Things by Lucretius, which is a tribute to  Epicurus and his philosophy.  Lucretius writes of Epicurus, "When 'human life lay groveling ignominously in the dust, crushed beneath the grinding weight of superstition' one supremely brave man arose and became 'the first who ventured to confront it boldly'" (72).  I'm not sure the poem ushered in the modern world when it was unearthed in the 15th century, as Greenblatt suggests, but the book is quite provocative nonetheless.  And then I read Luc Ferry's A Brief History of Thought - a trip through the major western philosophies, which almost completely ignores Epicurus.  Curious.  I'll get to Ferry's book another day.

Epicurus' philosophy was developed about 300 BCE, and a few centuries later people attempted to destroy it as it was totally incompatible with the Christian way of life - particularly the bits about all things being made of atoms (adopted from Democritus).  If everything's made of atoms, then nothing is better than anything else, so the entire hierarchy of the church is a problem as is our insistence that human beings are superior to all other creatures.  Also, it means we don't stay together as one being when we die, so the possibility of an afterlife falls apart (and the hopeful justice measured out in rewards and punishments to be found there).  And choosing a life of pleasure over pain?  That's just going way too far for many old school Christians .

I had a couple stop-and-think-about-it-for-a-few-days episodes reading The Swerve (these are off the beaten path from his general thesis):

On Work and Love

I’ve been trying to write every day for the 21 days my youngest is at camp, but I missed Friday because it was finally cool enough to do some necessary yard work. But it gave me a chance to further contemplate Freud’s idea that work, not love, is a key to happiness.

My family of four typically produces one milk bag’s worth of garbage each week. How cool is that! I’m careful about what I buy, and I recycle and use the green bin for meat and dairy. And, I think most importantly, I compost. Sure you can put everything in the green bin, then drive to the dump to get compost for your garden, but I like to take out the middleman. It makes sense to compost and use your own garden waste on your gardens. If everyone did it, it would save the city tons of money and energy carting our leaves and orange peels across the city.  Plus, I don’t trust that someone in the region isn’t "green binning" hardy weed seeds or diseased plants or “biodegradable” plastics, which really just decompose into tiny bits and add petroleum to your carrot patch. Bletch.  So, the work...