We Can't Unknow What We Know

 I occasionally get anon comments telling me, in one way or another, to stop writing about Covid and/or climate change. 

It's really bizarre to me. I mean, I get that people don't want to hear about the crap going on in the world, and I get that a lot of people don't believe any of this is true despite lots of citations from many reputable sources. But what baffles me is that this is a teeny-tiny, little blog. They'd have to really go looking for this content just to tell me that I'm wasting my time writing it. That seems like a whole lot of effort with no result since I largely ignore them and they could easily just ignore what I write. You would think people had better things to do with their time.

I write, as I say in my subtitle, to get my thoughts on the outside of me, not to be read widely or to change the world. I write publicly because a friend once borrowed a book on climate change with my summary scribbled on pages inserted near the end of the book. He told me how much it helped him get through the dense text, so I typed it up and made it more available to anyone interested. And I write about Covid and climate change because, my god, the lack of understanding on these issues is unbelievable. The lack of action is worse. I'm a born teacher, and will just keep teaching about stuff even if nobody's listening, or nobody wants to hear it, or people seek me out to tell me to just shut the fuck up already. 

I don't expect to change the world, but I do sometimes imagine the possibility that just one person might read that one thing here that gets them to start wearing an N95, and then they no longer get sick every year with a virus that has accumulating effects. As a trustee, I had calls from parents with little ones getting sick 2-3 time/year. Some had kids who ended up hospitalized. They'd send them to school with a mask on, but it would be gone by the end of the day -- in some cases because the teacher TOLD them to take it off. If one teacher learns something from here and encourages masks in class or, at the very least, stops shaming kids into taking theirs off, then that would be huge. At the very least, I exercise my drive to inform and scream into the void about the corruption and injustice in our world, but at the very best, something I write could save a life.

Chalis Montgomery wrote this thread yesterday (which stirred up all the thoughts above):

Why is it, do you think, that there are still people trying to warn others about Covid? We’re clearly not government-aligned: they’re the ones trying to bury the data. It costs us opportunities and connections. It’s not great for clicks or monetizing your social media. Posting about Covid normally sees us trolled with demands to post research (link in bio, btw), rampant credentialism, and partisan talking points. Sometimes, irrelevant personalities use our posts to rage farm and boost their engagement. We still post.

These days, there are far fewer people still reading the research, staying abreast of treatments, and watching variants develop. Those who do have a vested interest: are either scientists or have positions in community care or are “waysiders,” to borrow a phrase from Fauci. We’ve largely stopped trying to convince others to care, and we’re not posting to shame people (though there are some exceptions when key figures make choices inconsistent with the science that could influence others to make poor decisions). So. Why. Bother? 

I read the literature on SARS-CoV-1 at the beginning of the pandemic. I read EPA documents about N95 masks. I read aerosol studies and microbiology papers and neuroscience and cardiology and graphs presented by actuaries. I read papers on the mechanics of HIV, and history. I read because I know public health took 50 years to inform the public on the dangers of smoking, though science was long aware. I read because it took governments two years to admit they needed to test the blood supply for HIV. I read because I already knew SARS-CoV-1 was airborne, and that the PPE that was effective then was an N95 mask. I read because I knew SARS and MERS are similar, both airborne. I read because early reports from Chinese scientists and doctors indicated airborne transmission. 

And so, given what I know about prior public health efforts, and likely attributes of the current pandemic, I knew it was wrong when Dr. Fauci told us early in 2020 that we didn’t likely need masks. He chose to say that rather than admit we needed to conserve them for HCW. While I understand the intent, that was the beginning of many many moments of obfuscation, disinformation, and terrible sci comms from multiple agencies that continued to fail us under the Biden administration [and many provinces in Canada, too]. 

You may find what we post upsetting. It certainly doesn’t fit AT ALL with what you’ve been told. So, it definitely seems like half-baked fear mongering. I get that. But, you’re not getting the whole story - not by a long shot. In fact, it’s fairly difficult to see the whole picture unless you have read outside your discipline. Not many cardiologists are reading aerosol science. Not many pediatricians read up on the physics of N95 masks. It’s easier just to repeat what you hear. Why do those few of us remain when we’d rather be doing anything other than Covid discourse in the year 2024? I can’t unread what I’ve read. I can’t unknow what I know. 

Despite our differences, we all deserve the facts we need to keep ourselves and our communities healthy. I can’t distill four years of daily reading for you in a tweet, but I can tell you there are a lot of things you should have heard from the media and public health that you haven’t been told. They didn’t want to panic you. They wanted you to spend money instead. So, if you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, and you think your symptoms or a loved one’s symptoms may be caused by Covid, there is a way for you to start learning. Go to the link in my bio that takes you to the NIH Covid library. There are thousands of papers there. I should add: I don’t work for the NIH, and I receive no financial benefit for posting it. I also can’t see what you’re searching, just in case you’re looking up your ED symptoms and Covid. Anyway… 

We all deserve better. We’re not getting that. It pisses me off, so I post for free. If it reaches you, good. If it scares you, lean in. 

P.S. You should be asking your representatives why China repurposed Azvudine, and why there are Tenofovir trials ongoing for Covid treatment. These are both HIV antivirals. It’s still not a damn cold. We need antivirals NOW.