Sunday, November 13, 2016

A Genius Kvetching Ring

An article, three years old, was in my facebook feed today. But it was insanely timely. It's a little lifestyle piece about how to talk to people who are sick or experiencing trauma. It's just plain common sense, but it needs to be circulated regardless!  The idea was illustrated thusly:

Beautifully illustrated by Wes Bausmith
If someone in your life is sick or traumatized in some way, then their name goes in the middle. Then closest people next, and somewhat close, etc. further and further out. Wherever you are in the circle, you're welcome to bitch and complain and lecture and ask possibly offensive questions or talk about how it's affecting your life only to people who are towards the outside of the circle (from you, out). So, if you're in the middle, you get to basically say anything! If you're on the outer circle, then keep your trap shut.

The only things that should be shared to people closer to the centre (from you, in), are words of encouragement or offers of help. What do you need me to do? How can I help? Here's a list of things I'm more than happy to do...  That kinda thing. If you're thinking of sharing your troubles or the secrets of your success inwardly, then bite your tongue.

Most people have been exceptional to me during my recovery. Most people. And I've been guilty of kvetching in myself, mainly when my mother was dying of cancer, and I was on my own with an infant and a 2-year-old, and my mom was the only person in the world I could talk to about all my troubles. Luckily she was so drugged up on morphine, she didn't really notice my self-centred ranting. But, I'm sometimes an insensitive clod, so it's definitely something I'll be checking in with myself in future!

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